The Devonile Wolfbear

no more waiting for godot dammit

raaballoon — Wed, 25 Jan 2012 07:49:09 +0000

The helm is hardly battered, merely dented,

swords barely blooded, maidens hardly bedded,

that is the truth of things

stay hungry stay foolish

useless bleating from the mouths of sheep

where is the going?

when is the coming?

what is godot and why isn’t he here yet?

this isn’t a waiting, it’s a doing

we’re all doing,

diligently doing,

until we’re dead and done.

Fly fly fly we must fly!

Out the windows,

give me fields of ice,

bodies of heat,

Give me the true air!

Alphabetical thoughts

raaballoon — Wed, 19 Oct 2011 18:24:29 +0000

After looking at this site: http://writingprompts.tumblr.com/page/2

I decided to make a list of alphabetical advice…. which turned out to be an exercise of “let’s see what pops into my head first when I think of this letter!”

anyway, it was fun. you should try it.

…………………………………..

A: Always button your buttons the right way up

B: Best leave the beast for later

C: Catapults never work

D: Don’t panic

E: Everyone thinks differently and alike

F: Forget the flowers.

G: Give up your shoes.

H: Have your head on at all times

I: Ignore the I’s, I will not

J: Judge it already

K: Keep leveling up.

L: Lemons are life.

M: Meaning is arbitrary

N: Never ignore your gut feelings.

O: Open your senses, the world is waiting.

P: Perversion is a good thing.

Q: Queer is a queer word.

R: Rinse your mouth out regularly and regulate your ridges.

S: Stop complaining.

T: Tell them tell them tell them.

U: Umbrellas are overrated, wear your skin more often.

V: Vegans, bah.

W: Wet your eyes once in a while, preferably with a friend.

X: X-words in ads and names are cheesy and ridiculous, don’t use them.

Y: Yawning is not a sin.

Z: Zed is zed, not zee.

It’s the same old lady, hanging out the wash…

raaballoon — Sat, 24 Sep 2011 17:36:25 +0000

The Hound paws at my eyes, saying sleep, sleep, sleep

-You’re not supposed to be nipping at my heels during the waking hours, says I.

-Aye, but you leave such trails, I couldn’t help but follow you out of the vale.

-If I showed you the house in which I wander, would you keep me in there?

-The one with the moulding walls? With the drip drippy veils of universal fears? …With those people?

-Yes that one. Now would you keep me there or no?

-Is that a trick?

-If I said so, would you believe me?

-… All right, I’ll keep you there, but only because you want me to.

-Who ever said anything about wanting to be kept there?

-But you said -

-Yes, please guard me there. I don’t know why, but I belong to those people, and it’s the only place where I’m most awake, what with you and your pawing all day.

-… so you do want to be kept there…?

-Keep me, yes. Now leave me these sleeping hours.

Dog

raaballoon — Fri, 09 Sep 2011 17:00:11 +0000

There’s a permanent tension in my jaw, a sense of consciousness that’s wonderful and unnerving at the same time. A wanting to just observe, a tightness from too much judging, and a desperation for liberation. From what to what end? Liberation without direction, the wild human flight, see Dog run.

come along peter, come along, jane, see Dog run.

I’ll stop pretending now. The truth is…

raaballoon — Wed, 27 Jul 2011 16:26:47 +0000

Now wouldn’t that be funny! If you believed that I was a real person.

If I was a real person then I’d be a terrible thing. My words are really just the words that you’ve said before, or the words that someone else had said before. I’m a trumpet, an echo, a memory, a prediction of the future and most of all, a figment of your really bad imagination. I’m you when you go senile, isn’t that exciting! Then there are those other things out there that seem less real than me, but people treat them like real things too. How friendly. Sometimes I almost believe that I’m a real person too, but I know who I am. Do you?

war memories 1.5 – a growing obsession out of nowhere

raaballoon — Sun, 26 Jun 2011 07:56:34 +0000

There are those who get so obsessed with the wars that they forget how to live outside of them. These people are as good as dead, war casualties – their lives end when the killing ends. Only rarely do they manage to return to humanity – they manage to become fathers, brothers, sons and workers once again. Social units, no longer Military units. The country has been saved, the Cause has won, but that’s just the easy part. Living through it all and managing it – that’s the truly difficult part. Let us not mourn for the dead – for they were the lucky ones. We should, rather, mourn for the living dead, those who killed their souls that we might keep ours. Jesuses, all of them, for it takes a great deal of bravery to come back to life.

Impulsive memories of war – a voice in my head speaks involuntarily

raaballoon — Fri, 24 Jun 2011 18:39:52 +0000

My Carrion Woman knows the Acitivists, and she tells me where they are, that I might find them. I know exactly where they are – and I become of the immense power of Fate that I control at this point. Peaching on them or letting them start that Resistance would change the course of history forever. Ah, how arrogant of me. Of course, every action we take, every movement, everything – changes the course of History every day. There is no proper course of history. If the ways are infinite, why do we still view history and time as a linear concept? Like in a circle, the number of circumferences it could have is infinite – and so there is very little meaning in thinking about a path as a path – one must consider the whole. It is probably the only thing that is properly relevant. But I digress. Do I peach on the Activists? All the same for the Carrion Woman – she gets the spoils no matter what – doesn’t matter which side it comes from. Like the infinite nature of history, she’s hungry, and I need to make a decision. That’s all that matters. Why should I peach on the Activists? A new breed will surely rise from their ashes, if not the entire lot of their race and ours will rise up against us. Better to feed them and clothe them than damn them and incite those brothers to violence. Then they’ll become us and we become them. Or was it the other way round? Us and them. They’re us and we’re them and then they’ll become them and we’ll become Us. We’ll be the next breed of the revolution if they take over, surely. It’ll never end, as infinite as history. Our endless cycle of needs.

homesickness and trembling

raaballoon — Fri, 24 Jun 2011 16:29:44 +0000

I do everything for the stars. For the sky. For all things beautiful. And everything is beautiful.

Sometimes I find myself trembling with ecstasy just thinking about the Beauty in the world… and Everything is Beautiful, because Everything is connected.

There is a home that I might never come to see, but I think about it all the time, even though I’ve no memories of it. There’s a place and time that I mourn for, a place and time that I might have experienced or have yet to experience.

It’s not enough that I what I see is “beautiful”. I can’t tell. I can’t tell if something is beautiful just by looking at it. It’s only beautiful if I can feel that it is beautiful. As long as I feel it, I know, and there’s no more disputing its beauty after that.

It drives me insane, this whole business of feeling the world… even if it’s just feeling a tiny bit of it. A way of feeling that brings together every shred of living being in me, creating an intense awareness of my existence – mind body spirit and all. I can’t imagine feeling the entire universe – god must be insane.

the nowhere-ness of now

raaballoon — Mon, 30 May 2011 14:28:19 +0000

They peered calmly over the precipice, presently contemplating the figure that lay far, far below. That’s where all the words go when they die, they think. It doesn’t have to be true, as long as they believed it to be so. They sit with a sense of nowhere-ness in the shade, one feeling cold and the other feeling warm, altogether creating a deep vacuum in that place. One looked at the other and said something, but the words fell away, melting like paint in the heat, and nothing was said. The other sighed and let it be, watching as the corpses of those words floated illegibly back into the void.

Meanwhile, the Whole stood watching them from afar, puzzled by this nowhere-ness. It stepped around the looking glass for another angle on the matter, but cried out when 2 pairs of eyes burned its own, and became blind.

Feeling slightly unnerved by the cry that came from over (or within, they didn’t know) the void, the one reached for the other, and unable to find the hand that was clearly there, the other gave out a fearful whimper and bit its hands.

So it was that the first was dumb, the second bound and the Whole was blind.

2 nights before the tsunami happened…

raaballoon — Wed, 16 Mar 2011 14:00:23 +0000

i was in the middle of an old japanese house made of concentric squares, and there were lots of samurai around. they were angry with someone because they said that he’d betrayed them and he was trying to get back into the house again, and then the house started shaking and they started panicking and getting even angrier and a whole bunch of them ran to shut a whole series of outer doors so that he couldn’t get back in. But just as they’d done that, the first gates were broken by a huge rush of water, and then it kept breaking in through the other layers of doors and finally the whole house broke away, and the roof disappeared and suddenly we were all being swept onto the sea. everyone clung to the edges of the floor at the front of the house, and all the samurai were naked except for that diaper-looking underwear, and then the waves got bigger all of a sudden, and the house started falling like a rollercoaster over and over, and it stopped for a while, but then there was this new wave that was even bigger than the last bunch and i remember being terrified of it. we got swept all the way up to the crest, and when i looked down over the edge of the crest, the wave was so huge that all i saw was this gaping abyss into nothing, and then we started falling… and i woke up.

the dream was so vivid and it made such an impression that I had to draw it in my journal after I got up

… and then 2 days later we were in an irish pub for some drinks, and the news was on the tv behind the bar. the Hare and i just froze for a long time when we saw the headlines running across the screen – earthquake and tsunami hits japan